We’ll give you all the help you need; except for the help you need.


I know I haven’t mentioned it before; but we’re a military family. My son was receiving ABA services (3 months after he was SUPPOSED to), just started speech again, but STILL has not started OT. I told the military that I was done, and I was moving him to a better location. They agreed with me. I told them a place that worked for us (they had services and I have a friend who lives there). Now, when you sign the paper saying you want an EFMP (exceptional family members program) move, you agree to not only go wherever they put you, but that your spouse’s job could change. We didn’t get the state we were hoping for. Instead, we are getting moved 3,000 miles, across the frickin country. Ok, well, maybe they have what we need? HELL no! Not only do all of the ABA service providers have a waiting list a mile long, but NONE of them, I repeat NONE of the 11 places I called, have a therapist who can speak in sign language (which is how little man communicates). Oh, and there is also a waiting list for the other services (speech and OT).

Sooo yeah. “We’re more than happy to send you to a place that has your needs met, just…we can’t send you to a place that has your needs. And guess what? You signed the papers so there ain’t nothin you can do about it! Do not pass go, do not get the services you need, and go directly back to square ONE!”

What makes me laugh (and cry) was the weighted stress of finding a place to live. We had a list of 20 places, which I was able to widdle down to 3, for varying reasons. Two of those places (come to find out) have been robbed within the last 12 days (no joke). The other one is a crappy 2 bedroom apartment (we have a family of 4 and it would be pretty cramped there).

This is, of course, of great concern. And here I was, worrying about how to move an Autistic toddler across the country in a CAR trip that would take no less than 10 days. Silly me. Instead, I have to worry about; how to move an Autistic toddler who doesn’t like car rides across the country, the fact that we will be homeless when we get there, and his needs as a “special needs” child will not be met. All because I made a fuss about not getting adequate services here. Well, that will teach me for opening my fat mouth to be an advocate for my child. I just learned a valuable lesson; “shut the H*ll up because if you complain, we will make your life a thousand times worse.” Thanks military, got it.


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